I'm sorry

I'm messed up, i know this and have for awhile. I get upset over odd things, but only because it brings back reminders of memories that hurt. I remember words that once made me happy, to only have them as a constant reminder of how much of a screw up i am. I've been told things are my fault, yet the problem is... when the people come to there senses... the cruel words stayed locked in my head. I beg you not to describe an image of pain, for they play in my head night and day... I dream it at night and wake up crying and hurting like it happen to me.... I don't sleep much anymore the images play in the shadows... in the sunlight... in the mirrors... nothing makes the words and images goes away.... I've seen happiness.... but how long til he tires of me is the question. So yes, i'm messed up and i don't know how to fix the damn issue so excuse me for not being perfect for you.

:'(

All the things i could post....
I don't want to post because it all hurts right now... I wrote a new poem, but in the end i was in tears writing it becuz it's about My eskimo... Not isn't mine anymore. I want to blame the waking world and certain people but i can't.... In the end i am blaming myself and it's not a good feeling at all inside... I don't even know if he wants me to have his heart... He still has mine though... at least he should... if he doens't then i'm at a loss because i gave it to him and only him :'(

you'll always have my heart...

My Eskimo.

The love of my life.

My happiness.

Forgotten

Forgotten
Tears of sorrow,
Tears of Silence,
Between you and me.
As I walk in the door,
I see those empty walls.
I did my best to try but I wasn’t good enough to keep you.
You walked away when I needed you most.
You left me in the dark,
Without a light.
Lost and alone,
with no point to fight.
Falling apart,
Crashing down,
I lay there shocked.
Wondering why,
Why you didn’t come back.
To save me from,
From this blinding pain.
I need your help,
Where are you?
Why did you have to go,
When I needed you most.

Time Stopped

Time Stopped
From the moment I met you time stopped,
I got lost in the moment.
As time stretched on and on,
I began to wonder if I was even alive.
You take my breathe away,
To have you as mine is a good enough reason to be breathless.
When you look at me,
I get all giddy and nervous.
Your smile when directed at me,
I am filled with butterflies.
Why you hug me,
I feel right at home.
When you kiss me,
My heart skips a beat.
It feels the same every time,
Because everyday is like the first.

Who Believes?

Who Believes?
Love is a myth to most,
no one believes it’ll ever happen.
They guard their heart with traps and walks,
if only love wasn’t something that caused war inside.
Your head looking for logic and reasons,
the heart understanding and getting warm and happy.
Head and heart in a heated argument,
scaring you with loads of confusion and tears.
You can not describe love my darlings,
it has fate written all over it.
It happens when unexpected and when most needed.
Catching off guard is its talent,
it charms the heart,
and makes your head think beyond the end of the world.
It can hurt you if you let it,
or make your world a whole new heaven of its own.
You might break someone’s heart or get yours broken,
you need to look on to future love and now dwell on the past.

Let love talk

Let love talk
You might not need me forever,
But I myself know I do need you.
I know I’m not perfect,
But I’m all I’ve got to give.
You deserve a lot more then me,
But here I am holding on to hope for dear life.
I don’t give up easily,
But I’ll go when told to by you.
You probably don’t understand me all the time,
But all I can do is let love do the talking.
I whisper sweet words out loud,
But don’t know if you’ll hear there meaning.
You are one of a kind,
But I myself am not.
I am lucky to have found you,
But will you stay by my side?
Hope is all I can do,
Because I don’t want to lose you.
You speak the language of my heart,
Please listen I’m trying to express my love to you.

Night

Night
At night I think of you,
I sigh with a frown for you are not here.
I hate being away from you,
its like missing the best part of me.
My ming focusing on your face an heart,
if only we could speak no matter the distance nor endless time.
The nights are long with the moon held high,
I crave for the morning sun to rise before its time.
Holding your sound of voice close to my heart,
I relive the blushing memories you gave to me.
My stomach filling with butterflies as I think of you,
just waiting to see that sweet smile of yours.
Drifting into a cloudless dream,
night begins to fade into day.
I feel your loving presence in my heart,
wishing the night would run away so I could see you once again.

Missing you

Missing you
I got so used to being able to talk to you,
Whenever I wanted or needed to.
Now that I can’t I feel so alone,
I find myself re-reading every note and text from you.
You mean so much to me,
That missing you brings tears to my eyes and heart.
Our playful arguments running through my mind,
Wishing I could just hear your voice say one word to me.
On my mind I find only one thing,
You are that one thing.
I keep saying I love you,
Hoping you’ll hear it on the wind.
I find myself counting the seconds,
Each tick giving me more anticipation.
Taking it one breathe at a time,
I am excited for when I get to see you again.

Burn
A small boy sits alone everyday,
eyes swollen with tear marks covering his cheeks endlessly.
He wonders how long the tears will last or it they ever run out.
Each tear leaving another mark of pain on his fragile heart.
Pain is too much,
the child is breaking down for all to see.
He finds his pain killer without trying,
starting with a burn.
The burn clearing his mind of all thoughts of pain inside.
A distraction,
a cure he seems to believe.
The boys wears jackets more and tell those who question,
that he is cold.
Secrets fill his body,
only more to hide each day.
The child is wasting away.
Slowly bringing his life to an end.
A burn was the start,
what is to come when that doesn’t work.
The pain grows.
A small boy is home alone,
he starts a fire and is consumed.

Pink
It smells like cotton candy at the fair,
I breath in its sweet soft smell.
It feels like the fur of a new toy teddy bear,
I hug it tightly in my arms.
It taste like rain on a cloudy day,
I open my mouth to taste its sweet fresh flavor.
It sounds like the beating of man’s loving heart,
I hear it as I hug my love.
It looks like a tear so full of happiness,
I see it as I look in the mirror smiling.